How To Raise Happy Children

It is something that all parents want – to have children that are happy, well-adjusted and content. When we have these discussions, not every tip will fit every child; some have strong personalities, others are neurodivergent, some have special needs – and some kids are just plain stubborn! All children are different and thrive at different rates. 

So work with what works for your family, and skip the rest. Perhaps the first point is the true key… 

Your Happiness 

You are the template that your children will use for their emotions, behavior, and how they act with people. While some children are wildly different and might lash out or are more or less outgoing – much of what they know comes from parents or the adults in their life. 

If you’re not modelling happiness or working on your own, it can be difficult for your child to see what that looks like. 

If it has been a while since you have done a check-in with yourself, it’s time to think about how happy you really are, how you express it – and what you can do to increase your happiness and contentment.

It’s important to remember that sadness and happiness are the opposite ends of the scale; somewhere in the middle is contentment. 

While it is important not to hide other emotions because emotions are healthy – there is a strong link between parents who often spend time relaxing, laughing and enjoying their time and children who do the same. 

So while your children’s happiness is linked to your own, it is a good idea to have a look at how you tackle life – and see if you can make positive changes that help you both flourish. 

Not Perfection

Sometimes when we want the best for our children and ourselves, we set the bar so high that it can feel out of reach for some members of the family. Looking for 100% on tests, not accepting that a chore isn’t done to perfection, and moving the goalposts when your children meet a goal can leave them to feel like nothing they do is good enough. 

Rather than looking for perfection, it is more important to look for the effort behind the action. 

There are occasions when giving 100% effort doesn’t see the results we want in life, and the same goes for your children. It could be reading, it might be working on some artwork – or it could be school exams. 

No matter what it is, you can take up the role of supportive and nurturing – letting your child relax into giving the most amount of effort that they can, and while you can hope for great results – the results might not always matter. 

No one is perfect, so setting the bar this high can be detrimental to how they feel about themselves and their capabilities.

Health

Your health matters, and so does that of your child. You set the example here for taking care of yourself in terms of your health. Make sure that you are going to the doctor when you need to, regularly seeing the dentist, and when you’re sick – resting. 

If your children see you going to the dentist and doctors and making sure that you follow the advice and ensure that you are taking care of yourself – they will be more likely to follow suit. 

While health means something different to everyone, consider what is healthy for you and your child. 

Relationships

Our lives are filled with many different types of relationships, and it can be challenging to keep them all healthy and meaningful. But just as important as building healthy relationships is knowing when those relationships should be severed. 

Often as parents, we don’t take the time to teach our children how to form relationships; they tend to learn it in school and by observation. If we think about what we might usually say to some children that aren’t getting along, it might be something like ‘stop arguing and just get along!’. 

That doesn’t teach them how to make a relationship better, or very much at all – but it is the fastest and the easiest thing to do. 

Having open conversations about friends, partners, work relationships, and even the ones we struggle with can be very helpful. 

Feeling lonely is something that many people struggle with as they get older, and sometimes it is the inability to share and communicate that can prohibit us from making connections. 

If you have an outgoing, extroverted child, it can be worth talking about introverts and how to be friends with them and vice versa. 

Optimistic 

If you are always waiting for bad stuff to happen or to fail – you’re going to miss the good stuff – and that goes for kids too! 

Sure, not all situations will have a bright side – or maybe not at first glance. But something happens to how we feel and how we approach situations when we are always looking for the good and the bright side. 

Some studies show that optimism helps to reduce stress and promotes our production of dopamine. And since dopamine is what we seek to give us pleasure and happiness (and also how we end up addicted to technology), if you can get dopamine from being optimistic, you’ll be in a healthy cycle of looking on the bright side, finding it, feeling good about it and so on. 

Stress is detrimental to both our physical and mental health, so helping your child find the bright side can give them the tools to thrive later in life. 

Outdoors

Getting outdoors often can seem like a pipedream some days, but getting outdoors is great for everyone in the family! Outdoor play lets children use their imaginations, get to know their environment, make new friends, and get some of that all-important vitamin D. 

But if you don’t have a garden space or have nothing nearby that can be used to play it, it might mean you need to plan days out to parks. 

The Journal of Science and Medicine in Sport found that children who played outside more often had increased self-control, engagement and empathy – just from playing in the dirt! 

Gratitude 

Are you thankful for what you have, or are you always looking for more? There is a healthy balance between being happy for all you have right now and the ambition to gather more wealth, material items or time. 

Showing your children how to be grateful is a great thing. In fact, some studies show that gratitude is a trait found in people who are happier and feel like they are living a fulfilled life. 

Telling your child to say thank you all the time and being genuinely grateful are different things. Hile manners are a great thing to have and ultimately are how we can form better relationships in life – gratefulness comes from inside and is more meaningful. 

A simple way to start gratefulness is to ask your child (age dependent) for three things that they have been grateful for today. It is essential that you don’t judge what it is they are grateful for. It might be that they are thankful for a new teddy, the flower growing out of the bricks – and that they didn’t have to eat their peas today. 

A fun way to make saying thank you more meaningful is to write thank you cards when someone does something nice for you, for gifts and so on. Or perhaps just because! 

Chores

In many families, every chore will fall to the stay-at-home parent (most often the mom), and that can mean she doesn’t have the bandwidth for other fun stuff. But if everyone is assigned a chore in the house, everyone shares the responsibility for the space. 

Everyone lives there, so everyone should help out. Chores don’t need to be big; they can be small, things like setting the table, picking up toys, or helping wipe down surfaces. 

Not only does this mean children will have the skills to take care of themselves as they grow into adults, but it also means that they will respect their space and the space of others. 

Eat together 

If you think about how busy your family is, or as they grow they might be – there might be very few opportunities to sit together and talk. Eating a meal together at least once a day can give you some time to connect. 

Some studies found that teenagers who ate with their family every day were on average more positive and had an optimistic view of their future. 

Another perk of eating together is that you are able to make sure that no matter how busy you and your children are, there is always time for a delicious and healthy meal together. 

In the end, we all want our children to be happy, thrive and grow into the people they want to be – and these are just some things you might want to consider to help them get there. 

Here are some more great tips for increasing confidence and happiness in your little ones: Ways to Prepare Your Kids to Lead Confident, Healthy, and Happy Lives – Mysterious Ramblings.