Feeling comfortable in your own skin can seem like somewhat of a challenge. We all have our hang ups. The things about ourselves that we would like to change, that we feel needs improvement. But feeling comfortable in our own body, in our own space, doesn’t mean that we don’t have room for improvement, it simply means that we are comfortable loving the person that we are in the place we are in.
I feel like most of us have been in a place in our lives where we don’t feel like we fit. We are uncomfortable in our own lives, in our own existence, like our very being is the equivalent of an uncomfortable shoe. It looks cute, but it’s slightly painful. I think that’s pretty natural.
I feel like I’ve made a million new year’s resolutions, bought twenty five self-help journals, and I was always left feeling a little off. Like maybe this whole comfortable in my own skin thing just isn’t for me. Like maybe I was always meant to feel like the uncomfortable shoe, and not the sexy pair of sweats that my sister makes look so effortlessly sexy.
At a certain point, I decided to sit down with myself and face all of my own crap. To take a good long look at the person that is me, and call myself out on every excuse, every cop-out that I had been making to stay firmly planted in this place of almost complacent uncomfortableness in my own life.
So in my opinion, that’s step 1. Calling yourself out. Facing all of your own nonsense and excuses. Look at the reasons why you justify continuing to allow yourself to stay stuck. Name them.
Step 2. Be authentic. Who are you really? Who have you been projecting to the world that has left you in your state of discomfort? Figure out the things that make YOU happy, and do them. Once you are projecting the you that makes you happy, it becomes so much easier to see yourself the worthwhile human being that you truly are!
Step 3. Take care of yourself. This one seems pretty basic, right? But how often do we allow ourselves to be put on the back-burner? Putting our needs behind literally everyone and everything in our lives. Do things that promote comfort…literally. Spend the extra few dollars on a bra that truly fits, get your hair done, take a yoga class, buy a Don’t Sweat It Shirt to wear to those incredibly uncomfortable, sweaty 5 hour work meetings. This can literally be anything that you put off doing that would make a greater impact in your own physical comfort.
Physical comfort seems to have a lot more to do with my mental comfort than I ever realized. How many of you have felt icky about the outfit you were wearing? Embarrassed because you’re sweating up a storm in a meeting, and your pit stains are showing, which in turn led to having an absolute crap day, because of it. While I don’t hold believe in confirming to others standards, we feel much more comfortable with ourselves, when we physically feel comfortable.
Step 4. Keep your mind active. This again goes back to step 2, doing what you love–but going further into that, keeping your mind active in topics that interest you, activities that make you feel good, goes a long way in archiving happiness within oneself. Get creative. Engross yourself in things that keep your wheels turning (in a good way), and make you thirsty for more.
Step 5. Be uncomfortable. Ok, so at this point, I’m sure you’re saying what?!? But what I mean is, while its super important to love ourselves in the place we are in, give ourselves some slack, and know that things are going to only get better, don’t accept it. Challenge yourself. Having a sense of purpose and a goal, no matter what it is, or what area of your life it involves, is extremely essential, I believe. Even if we aren’t in a face paced career, having some sort of goal in our lives, truly puts us in a greater space of comfort within ourselves.
Step 6. Remind yourself that your beauty and worth are not dependent on how others view you. It’s as simple as that (though extremely difficult at times, I realize.). We all have our worth, and that is not diminished because someone else may not see it.
While I am not an expert, I am a human. A human that has struggled with self-worth since the first time I strapped a bra on (ya know, puberty and such), and these are just a few of the things I have done to put myself in a place of comfort and positivity in my life. While I still have my off days, as we all will, most days I can walk into a room of people and smile, join a conversation, meet new people. This is opposed to the old days of hiding in the corner, convinced that every laugh in the room was directed at my bad haircut or pit stains.
It hasn’t always been easy getting to this point, but it has definitely been worth it.
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